


Motherless Day

by Davechicken



Series: Kylux - Fluff & Angst [193]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-10-08 02:11:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10375539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Every year, it upsets him.





	

It isn’t anywhere on the ship, thankfully. Nowhere marked by seasonal foodstuffs, or soft toys, or tacky bits of ‘I can’t throw it out because my child will think I don’t love them’ chintz. No, there’s no outward reminder.

There doesn’t need to be. It’s a growing sense of unease, one that builds as the chrono ticks over. Dates swing up on the radar, and they cause a sloshing in the stomach, a running feeling in the knees.

Hux can work some of them out from simple, well-known data: Kylo’s nameday, that of his parents, Empire Day, the Republic’s holidays… but this one, he could never track down.

It took him years to ask, and even then, it hadn’t come out directly.

“It’s nothing.”  


“It’s not nothing. It… upsets you, every year.”  


“It’s stupid. It’s… an Alderaan thing.”  


An Alderaan Thing means a Mother thing. Hux nods, and swallows the spit in his mouth. He’s wondering when would be a convenient time to pull up his datapad and research, when Kylo continues.

“It’s about remembering your maternal line, that’s all. It’s dumb. It’s…”  


“Something you used to enjoy?”  


Kylo’s face gets red, and his eyes make his face line and crater, like wind over sand.

Hux can never quite get how Kylo can still miss them, even now. Knowing what they did, knowing how Kylo suffered… he can’t understand it. He _hates_ his own father, but then… he always did. For Kylo, there’d been some (twisted, admittedly) form of affection, even through all the pain. It’s tangled up in a knot for him, and Hux wishes he could free himself. Wishes he could let them go.

“I just wish… I…”  


“You wish it had been different?”  


Kylo nods. Hux hurts on his behalf, and wishes for himself that he could wipe that family from existence. Maybe it would stop the feelings of loss, or longing for something that can’t be? Or just make Hux feel better. 

He doesn’t know how you react to this. He knows Kylo’s family hurt him, and that they will never reconcile. He’s not sure if he’s supposed to badmouth his mother, or distract him. or… what…

“What can we do to make you feel better?” he asks, instead.  


“I don’t know. I think maybe… I want to feel sad?”  


Want… to feel sad. The concept is both alien, and so, so familiar to him. Hux nods, and puts a hand on his knee. “Can you do it with me around?”

“Yeah,” Kylo says, and pushes his head against his shoulder. “Are you mad at me?”  


“No. At them: yes. At you… never.”  



End file.
